Tea Parties on the Ceiling: A Governess’ Guide to Getting High by Mary Poppins
The Malevolent Way: A Gothic Guide to Vengeful Living by Heathcliff
Whitewashing Made Easy by Tom Sawyer
How to Escape a Bulldozed Planet by Arthur Dent
Scout’s Safe Halloween Handbook
Deep Revenge: How to Harpoon Your Inner Demons by Captain Ahab
Beyond Stonehenge: How to Turn Your Back on Love and Embrace a Heartless God by
Angel Clare
How to Survive a Rough Morning without Resorting to Pesticide by Gregor Samsa
Better Not Introduce Your Mother: Elizabeth Bennett’s Guide to Marrying Money
Crafty with Cobwebs: Miss Havisham’s Home Decor Handbook
How to Spot Phonies from a Million Miles Away by Holden Caulfield
Budget Boltholes and Opium Dens by Sherlock Holmes
Madwoman in the Attic: How to Stay Sane When Surrounded by Lunatics by Jane Eyre
Trainspotting 101 by Anna Karenina
Top Ten Anti-Siren Strategies by Odysseus
The Art of Prolonged Longing by Jay Gatsby
How to Kick Bourgeois Malaise and Live to Languish Another Day by Emma Bovary
Ellen Girardeau Kempler’s essays, opinion pieces, feature articles and humor have appeared in The Atlantic, L.A. Times, Christian Science Monitor, Westways, Culture Trip, Huffington Post, Cargo Literary, Medium‘s “Human Parts” and numerous other publications. Her narrative nonfiction won recognition from Transitions Abroad in 2015 (runner up for travel memoir) and Travelers’ Tales (Bronze Solas Award) in 2016. She has also received numerous awards for poetry and has been widely published in literary magazines. Her first book, Thirty Views of a Changing World: Haiku + Photos (on climate change and other existential threats to our planet) will be published by Finishing Line Press in November 2017. An Oregon native, she now lives in Laguna Beach, California.
