<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Memory found me hot and lit. You were like a train track electrified and I riding you \nthrough \tframe frame frame<\/em> \tI achieve pain as a film strip: \n\nsquare city home plot bed covers and under us two and wishing always for our expression \nto have expression. The way you once dappled the kitchen table with tears\u2014then \n we went to the seaport at the island\u2019s edge and saw a museum full \n\nof bodies (we were embarrassed by the exposedness) their nerves ending at each\nentrance. Together we spectated the spectacle, never left \n our own circulatory systems in a room for others to see. \n\nOne reason I loved you \nwas that we were unintelligible like flowers underwater \tframe frame frame<\/em> \n\nnow riding the last day of the last month we were three-dimensional, lovers \nhung from each other like two trees in inosculation. The problem of \n\nmemory is that an image is never certain. Memory is not a text \n\nbut when you read to me from Boethius (\u201cWho would give a law to lovers?\u201d) I arched\nmy back like a cat, all heat and language, for some written rule. I never wanted \n\na home, just whatever bright point inhabited you. I have no place, no place\nthat you are not, and together we have no place. \n\nHot cakes, mistakes ache ache <\/em> electricity frames each frame, live-wired\nmoments too abstract to \ttouch, comprehend. \n\nNo one ever told me how endlessly you would end.\n\n<\/pre>\n
\n <\/p>\n
\n
\n <\/p>\nPatterning<\/h4>\n
<\/p>\n
morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after morning after mourning after\n\n\f\n<\/pre>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n <\/p>\n
\n
\nKimberly Grey is the author of three books, A Mother Is an Intellectual Thing: Hybrid Essays <\/em>(Persea Books, forthcoming in 2023), Systems of the Future of Feeling <\/em>(Persea Books, 2020), and The Opposite of Light<\/em> (Persea Books, 2016), winner of the 2015 Lexi Rudnitsky First Book Prize. She has been awarded a Wallace Stegner Fellowship and teaching lectureship from Stanford University, a Civitella Ranieri Fellowship, and a Taft Research Fellowship from the University of Cincinnati, where she earned a PhD in Comparative Literature and Creative Writing. She is a Visiting Assistant Professor of English at Webster University and lives in St. Louis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Filmic | Patterning<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1823,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[82],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1859"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1823"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thespectacle.wustl.edu\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}